Sometimes I am asked why some of our students and clients call me Amma.
It is the aspect of the Feminine that is the most misunderstood. The most needed and the most clouded in shadow
Let us begin with the How and perhaps at another time I will share all the facets of her character… because this aspect goes far further than one might think.
It began a few years ago at a retreat where I had a SUDDEN fever that burned through my body in a way nothing has ever done before.
I remember it happened so suddenly. One moment I was giving directions to our Team the next I was laying on the bed at the resort under all the blankets and with Baba Richard literally engulfing me- wrapping my body in His- and still shivering uncontrollably.
He was concerned and just about ready to take me to the emergency room and I said through chattering teeth “this is spiritual I don’t know why it’s happening but it’s important”
I then fell asleep
It was the Emptying
It felt like I burned up what remained of my self identity to prepare to become something…else.
The next day I woke up and it felt like a dream. Only there was something else present with me. I could feel the weight of it. During our session I began to channel. I do not remember what I said, I only recall seeing an image of this larger than life mother superimposed over me.
With a lap large enough to hold all women.
I remember when I began to come to myself the women were gathered around me… weeping….
In a line to hug me.
Needing the Mothers Love.
Her fierce compassion.
Her loving correction
Her eternal wisdom
I gave the Divine Feminine in her mother form a vessel to place flesh on her love.
And that Aura, that Aspect remained with me. At first as Mama then adding Amma – a different version but in the same song.
Sometimes people don’t understand
“Why would you call her that? She’s not really your mother”
“You’re older than her how can you call her that?”
“That sounds like a cult to me”
They don’t understand that it is not a REQUIREMENT it is something that a person feels called to.
Nor do they understand how much preparation it requires for me to hold it.
You see unlike many ideas of “Mama” this one doesn’t contain infantalizing those who engage with it.
In the west many people don’t understand how to be adults with their mothers.
How to be empowered with their parents
That parental love and counsel is a great asset as long as you are alive and it does not diminish you…unless you think it does.
Instead Seeking Self and Desiring Autonomy they run away. And…we call this being an adult.
And many mothers don’t know how to hold their daughters as women
As truly capable and powerful.
That mother daughter wound runs deep in the West. And most simply burn the bridge to be free.
Yet that is not the only way.
And I must confess… it is not always easy to be Amma. From time to time Women who have called me Amma and professed undying love turn on me.
Their mothers wounds often are expressed by how they feel about me. Whether they collapse in child or Rebel, whether they just want to be saved or they need someone to blame, whatever is in the field of that wound for them…
Shows up in how they feel about me.
So they can heal it in a space where there is no judgement yet there is TRUTH.
There is no hiding
I once said “I think I don’t want anyone to call me Amma anymore”
This after a spiritual daughter not only walked away but maligned me and my work in the process. I felt like Christ betrayed by Judas
I heard Laughter…
“They aren’t calling YOU Amma… they’re seeing ME… and it is also ME they are running from. Have you forgotten…you didn’t give yourself this position, I chose you… will you Serve?”
And I remain.
-Sri Namaste Moore
The Book of Days