Many women believe that they desire most of all to be respected.
And it’s easy to see why, respect is held up as the end all and be all of receiving positive regard from another person.
And yet much is missing from the idea.
When you look at respect and admiration in the dictionary they are given similar definitions in fact they are synonyms of one another but when you look into the etymology of the two terms much is revealed.
Respect comes from terms meaning to look back, or to observe again.
The idea being to look back in consideration, the way you might check for your mothers approval if you knew she was watching you cross the street as a child for example.
Admiration has a completely different etymology.
It means to consider with awe,
to see as wonderful and a miracle.
It holds within it it the idea of not so much deferential behavior as regarding wonderfully.
(Interestingly the word mirius where we get miracle is also where we get smile from…consider that a bit…)
Consider this – one can respect someone without admiring them. You can respect someone while fearing them, and actively disliking them.
Of the two admiration is the side of the coin that the Feminine receives the greatest degree of fulfillment from not respect.
Masculinity, on the other hand, feels more aligned with and fulfilled by respect than admiration.
Women tend to care how you FEEL about us.
Men don’t care as much as long as you RESPECT them.
Can you mix them up – certainly – this is more about going for potency, accuracy, and effectiveness in our engagement with one another than about quibbles.
Understanding how we flow and the fuel we run on simply makes the ride a bit smoother.
When a woman understands that what her heart longs for is admiration – she can cease striving to be respected recognizing that the quest for that will never provide the level of satisfaction that she sought in the first place.
It also explains why no matter how much respect she received she never felt satisfied.
Many of us assume that if we received the respect we perceive men to receive, it would feel as good to us as it does to them – hence when it doesn’t we assume that we didn’t receive it when the truth is we run on different fuel.
Play with the energy of the distinction for yourself…
* Notice if you are resistant to admitting you desire to be admired (this is huge for many women)
* Notice how it feels for someone to say “I admire you” vs “I respect you” … does it feel good? Scary? Unsafe?
* Sit with those feelings
* Ask your partner what they admire about you vs asking what they respect about you…
(I am using women in this lesson for ease of communication if you are a woman who does not identify as Feminine this may not apply to you, if you are a man who does identify as feminine this may apply to you, if you don’t believe in the masculine/feminine paradigm this won’t apply to you at all…)
Learn more, get SOFT – bit.ly/GetSOFT
Namaste Moore – The Feminine Alchemist © Namaste Moore and RichardandNamaste.com 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from the author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Namaste Moore and RichardandNamaste.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.